Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Suffice to say, my blog today is not about Valentine’s Day. I really did want it to be related in some way, but as of late, I have been struggling with God’s plan for me, not with mortal love. I’ve been asking for a sign to know that what I am doing is His Will, not mine, because I don’t really want to be doing it. I’ve been praying, checking in, like, “Hey Dad, just wondering… Is this okay? Is this really where you want me to be? Because if it is, just say so and I’ll keep going… *awkward silence* Okay, well, just let me know… I’ll just be waiting over here…”

So when I read today’s Gospel, where Jesus is so deeply saddened that the Pharisees are looking for a sign… Well, it kinda hit home. Here I am, asking for a sign every time I pray. Asking for some miracle instead of just having faith. 

Also in today’s First Reading, James reminds us that we should, “Consider it all joy,” when we come head to head with issues, and to ask for wisdom should we need it (James 1:2). Last, of course, is to have faith, wholehearted faith, for it is through faith that we know to expect and receive the goodness of the Lord. 

Well… darn. I’m not sure I’ve done any of these things.

1. Consider it all joy.
   No, not really because I complain. My beloved siblings, God bless them, hear from me at least twice a week and half of the time, it’s just to complain. I forget to even look on the bright side, I’m just annoyed and probably annoying.  Even if it’s not out loud, in my head while I’m actually doing the tasks I’m unsure about, I’m like a tired baby, wailing and flailing. 
2. Ask for wisdom.
   Nope, just been asking for a sign as an answer. My prayers, however often, are never asking for discernment and wisdom. Instead I just ask for answers. I complain to God and then I ask for him to make the hard decision for me. Which defeats the whole purpose of free will! I’m seeing everything almost too clearly now! 
3. Have faith.
   Not to the extent I should, knowing that God will provide and will speak to me in the silence of my heart. The last time I talked (and complained) to my sister, she quoted Jeremiah 29:11: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

So, silly me, why am I so upset? My God is an all-loving, all-merciful father in better ways than I can even comprehend. So my goal for today and moving forward is to stop complaining to my family and to God and just consider it all joy and happily listen. In addition to not complaining to God, I’ll ask for wisdom, not just easy answers, and then actually trust in the Lord. He is so good and sometimes we need that reminder, so we thank the Lord for these daily readings because:

All the time, God is good.
And God is good, all the time.

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